I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
that may or may not have been my penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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