I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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