dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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