i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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