brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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