And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
