Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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