she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
