I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
