doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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