pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
