im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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