We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
