dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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