He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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