He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We smell like vodka and hangover
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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