Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
