i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
