At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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