girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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