So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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