Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
