Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
