Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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