It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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