You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
