I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Operation Purity has been aborted
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
jump out the window naked night went bad
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
