Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize