so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
