I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
