so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
