My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
