i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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