Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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