Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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