i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the day after is always just damage control
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
