I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
