If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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