Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
