omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
