Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize