I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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