I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
