No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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