And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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