So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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