so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
