you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
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Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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