Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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