i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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