I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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