i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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