VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
