Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
