I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
