Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
